Landlord, Day 1

LANDLORD, DAY 1 (True story. Names are changed to protect the innocent.) My landord, Moose, is behind bars, again. This time they brought him in on an outstanding warrant from last summer because of an unpaid ticket for hosting a yard sale without a permit. Yikes. However, the reason police came upon the scene is that he stole a bird, a budgee. Budgees resemble parakeets but more talkative and friendly. It was a kidnapping of a beloved pet. The budgee belonged to his friend-girl Madie who loved this bird. She wasn't all that upset when Moose had kicked in her door and chased her out of her own house. Seen through an alcoholic haze, these things happen. But when she returned and found the bird and cage missing, she flew into a rage and called 911. She stormed up the street to his house, ahead of the police. Madie was mad. Pounding on the door she yelled obscenities and for him to let her in and give her her bird back. Neighbors said they could hear her quite plainly but at that moment it was hard to understand just what it was all about. "Gimmie my bird you &%#+ $#( @*>!! Open up, I want that bird." After she went around yelling and pounding from the front door to the back and back to the front again, he finally let her in. Inside she found Moose with her bird out of the cage, free and flying around inside the house. Two police cars came soon after. Since her bird seemed okay, she didn't want to press charges anymore. Moose and Madie were like two turtle doves. She told the cops how it was when they first met. Ahh. However, the police checked their records and found an outstanding warrant for Moose's arrest. Ahha. He never had bothered to pay a ticket for having a yard sale without a permit; now he would have to go to jail. Coincidentally, one of the arresting officers had arrested Moose three years earlier for breaking-and-entering and assault, for which he served 18 months in jail. That officer wanted to see the damages at Madie's house, even though she wasn't pressing charges, he was. So she and the budgee received a police escort home. The policemen all went inside to investigate the B&E at the scene of the birdnapping. Meanwhile, Moose, back-handcuffed in the back seat of the cruiser, started rocking the police car, trying to bring the cuffs under and around front, but, in frustration he kicked repeatedly at the door trying to bust out and get away. They had to ask him to settle down. They think that drugs and alcohol may have been involved. It's a safe bet he's penitentiary bound for two to eight years. Birdnapping is a serious offence. I can hear the conversatiion with his new cell mate after the iron door slams shut that first day on the inside. "What are ya in for?" Weak and vulnerable, he blurts out the awful truth: "For having a yard sale without a permit." c.2007, H.M.J.